Ada apa ngan pandangan perempuan² di luar sana tentang perlakuan2 antara lelaki kacak dgn lelaki yg hodoh tak kacak.. betol ke perempuan² memiliki pandangan seperti di bawah??? Credited to Koleksi Lawak Azrul.Biz

Kalau lelaki kacak pendiam
Perempuan akan cakap: Wow, cool giler.
Kalau lelaki tak kacak pendiam
Perempuan akan cakap: Eh perasan bagus.

Kalau lelaki kacak berbuat jahat
Perempuan akan kata:Nobody’s perfect.
Kalau lelaki tak kacak berbuat jahat
Perempuan akan cakap:Patutpun, muka pun macam pecah rumah!

Kalau lelaki kacak menolong perempuan yg diganggu
Perempuan akan cakap: Wah! Machonya, macam hero filem!
Kalau lelaki tak kacak menolong perempuan yang diganggu
Perempuan akan kata: Entah2 kawan dia.

Kalau lelaki kacak dapat perempuan cantik
Perempuan akan kata: Sepadan sangat.
Kalau lelaki tak kacak dapat perempuan cantik
Perempuan akan kata: Mesti kena bomoh perempuan tu!

Kalau lelaki kacak ditinggal kekasih
Perempuan akan kata: Jangan sedih, kan saya ada
Kalau lelaki tak kacak ditinggal kekasih
Perempuan akan kata: (terdiam, tapi telunjuknya meliuk-liuk dari atas ke bawah, patutlah, tengok saja luarannya)

Kalau lelaki kacak penyayang binatang
Perempuan akan cakap: Perasaannya halus. Penuh kasih sayang.
Kalau lelaki tak kacak penyayang binatang
Perempuan akan cakap: Sesama keluarga memang harus menyayangi.

Kalau lelaki kacak bawa BMW
Perempuan akan cakap: Matching. Hebat luar dalam.
Kalau lelaki tak kacak bawa BMW
Perempuan akan cakap: Bang, bosnya mana?

Kalau lelaki kacak tak mahu bergambar
Perempuan akan cakap: Pasti takut kalau-kalau gambarnya tersebar
Kalau lelaki tak kacak tak mau bergambar
Perempuan akan kata: Tak sanggup tengok hasilnya ye?

Kalau lelaki kacak menuang air ke gelas perempuan
Perempuan akan cakap: Ini barulah lelaki gentlemen.
Kalau lelaki tak kacak menuang air ke gelas perempuan
Perempuan akan cakap: Naluri pembantu, memang begitu.

Kalau lelaki kacak bersedih hati
Perempuan akan cakap: Let me be your shoulder to cry on.
Kalau lelaki tak kacak bersedih hati
Perempuan akan kata: Kuat nangis!! Lelaki ke bukan ni?

Cube tgk camne bdk baru umur 8 tahun yang mempunyai otak blue lucah & kotor dok webcam ngn org laen.. kecik2 otak da kotor, bile besa xtau lg aa camne.. da aa gigi x cukup, ayat chat xleh blah..walao~

You have probably seen them on road signs, on buildings, or even at public restrooms, and it’s pretty sure that every city or suburb has them. They are no other than random graffiti art that has silly and fun messages and drawings.

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won’t be crazy forever.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

(Well, my job is done …..Your turn!)

Selamat pagi semua...Da lame x menaip... Utk entri kali ni ak nk menaip pasal zaman sekolah² menengah...haha, zaman sekolah rendah, status kanak² ag.. yg tu konfem byk lg perkara-perkara yg kite x hengatt..kali ni, pasal sekolah menengah lu aaa..
kenangan beb... macam² kenangan ade.. tp yg ak nk kongsikan di sini mengenai perkara-perkara yg buat kite x nak igt zaman sekolah menengah @ zaman mude remaje kite dulu..haha... korang ingat lagi x??

Aku rase setiap orang ade je perkara-perkara yg buat kite x suke zaman sekolah.. x kire laki maupun pompuan.. Tak dinafikan aaa, ak pn de gak aa perkara-perkara yg rase xleh blah kalau nak diingat time sekolah dulu..hahaha

Antara perkara yg boleh wat korang x nak hengat zaman sekolah dulu:-

Fesyen pakaian yg tah pepe..
Kalau sebut pakaiaan, jgn kate bdk pompuan pn je pandai bergaye, laki pn lebih kurang gak aaa... kalau pasal seluar seragam skolah, macam2 stail ade dulu... kaki seluar besar kt bawah, peha kecik.. seluar kaki cerut@ kecik @ <18".. yg nk keluarkan kaki pn bkn maen susah... kalau tempah suar kt kedai tukang jahit, macm2 stail nk, nk buat pacat(*betul ke ak eja..lantakla..haha) macm anak panah, lidah poket belakang style Levi'S la, Batman la...celah kangkang seluar lak nk ade poket kecik, bajet wt simpan pen aa..tp besenyer tu tmpt tersembuyi gak aa kalau nk simpan rokok..haHaha

Style Rambut
Pasal stail rambut ni, xyah cakap aa... stail pe yg xpnah try bdak2 laki time skolah lu.. style Belah Tengah, style Mohawk, style Beckham, style rambut Gay(yg da mcm wt mcm Cap di kepala... macam2 ade aa.. bdk2 pompuan xtau dorg camne, kalau bdk solah lu, bdk2 pompuan wajib pakai tudung..agak2 dorang de gak x style2 rambut yg tah pepe?..

Nerdkah Aku??
haha... kalau time bdk skolah menengah, semua org tgh nk up.. mesti terpikir-pikir, dulu ak nerd ke x ah? bese dulu bdk2 nerd dilabel dgn perkara2 spt, kalau ke sekolah, baju iron tiap ari sampai line tepi baju tajam yg boleh putus jari kalau kene...haha, butang baju sampai abes, ikat tie macm nk lemas..pakai spek mata bingkai tebal gler, terlalu mengikut undang2 skolah, kuat study & macm2 lg gak aa...

Ko gelar ak, ak gelar ko...
Kalau bab gelar orang ni mmg xyah cakap aaa.. macam2 gelaran bole bagi.. de gelaran yg sampai tue pn masih lekat lg.. modal gelaran boleh dpt dr macam2 sumber... korang pikir aa sndiri... mmg lawak giler aaa kn... yg paling fames, maen gelar name pakai name bapak... wahh kalu name bapakk, yg pelik2 sket, mmg jd modal besar aa... x cukup name bapak, name atuk,nenek, moyang pn boleh laa..haha

Agak2 pe lg aa yg buat korang rase xleh blah kalau nk diingat zaman sekolah2 dulu???.... Boleh tinggalkan komen dgn klik kt kepala burung sblh title entri

⋆A crocodile can't stick it's tongue out.

⋆A shrimp's heart is in their head.

⋆When you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

⋆It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

⋆A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

⋆More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.
⋆Rats and horses can't vomit.

⋆The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

⋆If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib.

⋆If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

⋆If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.

⋆Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
⋆Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

⋆In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

⋆The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

⋆Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

⋆A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

⋆23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their posterior.

⋆In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.

⋆Most lipstick contains fish scales.

⋆Cat's urine glows under a black- light.

⋆Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

Just for Fun - Totally Random

1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

8 ) Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying F*** You!

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This
will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.